Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They took my balls.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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