Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
