You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
