bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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