I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
