You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
