Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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