yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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