roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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