I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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