big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
