oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
