Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
