I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize