I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
