I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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