No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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