You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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