this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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