he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
