I cockslap morals
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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