2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize