The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
