Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
