My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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