What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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