It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we're making bets on your personal life
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize