i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
