can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
