He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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