There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just googled if crying burns calories
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
