he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
