To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
