We're facebook friends in real life
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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