Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
