i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
