They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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