Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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