I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
