my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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