I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
