I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
