I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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