I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
