I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
