It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
