My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
