You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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