so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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