Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
