There was a lot of him and a little penis
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
