jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
