The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
