I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
love makes seman taste better
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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