North Korea, Best Korea!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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