Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
